End of the Year

i never understand why its such a big deal.
i mean
i don't celebrate the new morning
which really is more substantial to me than a new year
because if the new year never came its because the next day never came.


i mean 2008 was ...interesting.
man i've fucked up this year.
i've dated some serious assholes
i've been a serious asshole.
i've realized i lack the human capacity to give my heart away to people.
i've also realized that my libido is more in charge of me than is acceptable.
i've read great books, met fantastic people, wasted time like no ones business, reaffirmed and rearranged my beliefs,
i feel like this year is one of the first times i've really just...appreciated the moments.


and now i'm about to be uprooted and thrown into "adult hood" and college




i'm more mature than i was a year ago.
and quite frankly i'm proud of the person i'm becoming.



i'm self aware and okay with most of the things that are clearly wrong with me.



this year made me realize

i'll never fit in to normal societial roles and i'm simply doomed to walk to the beat of my own drum.

while i love being free and flowy...theres always that isolation factor.


the misanthrope just wants to be loved.






i"m rambling again, sorry.