i wonder

i wonder a lot: what if i'm wrong about God not existing?


what if i die and the big mans real and he's just irked as hell because i denounced his existence for my whole life.?

or will he really be the forgiving cool guy everyone says he is? 'oh you lived a fairly not horrible life WELCOME'

idk, i'm not a bad person all the time.
i just.....
i'm a bad person more often than is really heaven worthy thoughh.


i mean i've never like killed anyone.

but really, its the thought that counts.

yeah that shit goes both ways.


but on the other hand.

nothing really matters anyway.
my existence is totally without reason or purpose.
and that's fucking rad.

but my ego wont let that happen
i must be something
i must change someones opinion thoughts views open some fucking doors man!



i just wish some shit was spelled out for you
like yeah, we are created by some magic man in the sky
or no you fucking idiot were jsut here; do something with the time ?



speaking of time.
fuck you modern medicine.
i don't want to live to 100
which is fucking lame.
everythigns lame.



i dont know if i can hold this shit up much longer.

i need a mental health week...month.